if theres anything to say if theres anything to do if there's any other way i'll do anything for you.

foribiden garden

how could i explain to you what i felt tonight?
instantly,
your proximity it spoke to me,
hit my chest like golden light,
how do i explain to you,
your proximity
like a magnetic field of regrets
your face opened to mine,
didn't you remember?
you had your chance,
once you were not owned,
i was not owned,
nor owned now,
before i have felt your gaze
like it was tonight,
only of less regret and more...

what does it matter?
i was to unsure to believe your pulls,
you didn't tell me in writing,
you never breathed a word,
to a girl so insecure,
could have picked her locks with a bobby pin,
you could have walked
into her lobby,
you could have explored her study,
but you did not know this facade,
just a sticker on the door of a house,
the owners don't pay the bills,
the security,
shut off ages ago,

now you found yourself a picket fence,
and hedges trimmed and groomed,
an owner who let you pick the flowers,
you worked in her flowerbeds,
in the heat of summer days,
and she drank from the garden hose.

you found utopia,
once you put your name on it,
it's all too real and now,
your proximity,
intoxicating with notes of lust and regrets,
oh your proximity.

i felt your proximity in the hallway,
as we walked,
i made tea in the kitchen,
i felt your gaze in the pantry,
your awkward stare,
raw it pulled at my hair,
it slipped into my skirt,
it grabbed for my shirt,
in frenzy fighting the desire to feel
your proximity,
i was so weak,
and your rings and vows,
your honor and your word,
none would break the spell of your proximity,
how do i tell you i knew?
now that i feel your proximity
in these bed sheets ajar,
i smell your proximity,
the sweetness of your sweat spent on me,
and i eat up your proximity,
it is rich and only enhanced by
the knoledge of your choice,
your desire beyond reason to feel my proximity.

by vanessa toews

... and no im not a poet, so screw you if you dont like it.

basicly this just made me laugh... i dont know maybe becuase its so true...
if that doesnt work you cant watch it here...http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1739699

You have twice the autonomy the giraffes and tigers do

I find it funny how often in life, the trivial things impress the greatest sense of magnitude upon me... just last night as I sat in psych class seeping in information about the brain I realized how very beautiful and complex life really is. Not that it’s so complex in the sense of everyday living, but in the autonomic sense... the things we don’t realize are going on inside and around us at every given moment. The realization of how many reactions and actions it takes for us to simply see something. The spectrums of light we differentiate as colours and depths, the sounds we hear, sounds are really no more than a displacement of air causing a vibration that our brain reads and interprets as a sense. It is so beautiful to think of the complexity we take for granted everyday. The gift we have in our senses alone, the gift we have in seeing, feeling, smelling, and hearing it is mind blowing to me. Everything all simultaneously combining to create a rich sensory experience, we forget to be so very much in awe of our bodies and our creator for giving us such an immense gift. When I think about it the beauty of what we can comprehend with all of our senses I am overcome. It leads me to feel that everything for the wonder of being able to take it in at all is in fact something beautiful form the mundane to the exquisite it is all beautiful in its own way. Seriously! The concept that we can perceive texture and line and colour of our surroundings, and the knowledge that we can smell the heat of a computer, the perfume on someone’s shirt, or even the scent of the wood in a pencil, how can it not just fill you with great fullness at the gift of live. Everything combines to create layers of beauty, and when you think about it… really think about it, that makes life the amazing thing that it is. Even the complexity of a kiss, all of the things you take in at once, the smell of the person near you the sound of their breath the graze of each other’s lips. All of these things in a scientific sense are a miracle in and of themselves. The amount of information your body processes to come up with just the smell of the other person alone is overwhelming. The neurons firing and sending signals, all of the things in your brain working, moving information and chemicals from point A to point B… It inspires me. It proves to me that life is more than just chance and that there must be a higher power, there has to be a great designer of life, one who wants us if nothing else to see the beauty in which we were made and realize that it is good. The sheer wonder of our very existence in the first place is enough to make you question it all. We are so consumed with the silly standards for what we call beautiful that we don’t even realize that our very existence is beautiful, more than just visually beautiful. It is complexly, and intricately, and profoundly beautiful and for that realization I am so very happy.

where would love be without wishful thinking

ahhh freezing rain enveloped my world today and although it is warmer than it has been it is really not nice out... the barista @ my starbucks told me to drive slowly beucase if i died he would miss talking to me every morning when i got my coffee which made my day... in a weird way ha ha ha... i usto work there after all. i did see 4 accidents on my drive into the city... ah the life of a commuter... i never though i would be a commuter, or that i would work down town. being little miss independant woman (not in a destinys child way ha ha ha) is realy a good feeling ha ha ha.
tonight is psych class... which im really really starting to hate... hopefully class is short so that i make it home in time for my one sinful t.v. indulgence... prison break... ahhh the ever-foxy wentworth miller makes my mondays let me tell you! and i dont care if people say hes gay... the fact is hes hot... end of story. in other news there is a benifit concert on the 15th for anyone who would like to go... its at the starlight room and features feilds to flood and hills like white eliphants... they are good and the concert is cheap... tickets are $10 in advance and $12 at the door... oh and doors are at 8. im planning on going and if im there you know its going to be good ha ha ha... anyways i probably wont post much this week as i have a mid term in art history which i do plan on aceing as usual...