if theres anything to say if theres anything to do if there's any other way i'll do anything for you.

foribiden garden

how could i explain to you what i felt tonight?
instantly,
your proximity it spoke to me,
hit my chest like golden light,
how do i explain to you,
your proximity
like a magnetic field of regrets
your face opened to mine,
didn't you remember?
you had your chance,
once you were not owned,
i was not owned,
nor owned now,
before i have felt your gaze
like it was tonight,
only of less regret and more...

what does it matter?
i was to unsure to believe your pulls,
you didn't tell me in writing,
you never breathed a word,
to a girl so insecure,
could have picked her locks with a bobby pin,
you could have walked
into her lobby,
you could have explored her study,
but you did not know this facade,
just a sticker on the door of a house,
the owners don't pay the bills,
the security,
shut off ages ago,

now you found yourself a picket fence,
and hedges trimmed and groomed,
an owner who let you pick the flowers,
you worked in her flowerbeds,
in the heat of summer days,
and she drank from the garden hose.

you found utopia,
once you put your name on it,
it's all too real and now,
your proximity,
intoxicating with notes of lust and regrets,
oh your proximity.

i felt your proximity in the hallway,
as we walked,
i made tea in the kitchen,
i felt your gaze in the pantry,
your awkward stare,
raw it pulled at my hair,
it slipped into my skirt,
it grabbed for my shirt,
in frenzy fighting the desire to feel
your proximity,
i was so weak,
and your rings and vows,
your honor and your word,
none would break the spell of your proximity,
how do i tell you i knew?
now that i feel your proximity
in these bed sheets ajar,
i smell your proximity,
the sweetness of your sweat spent on me,
and i eat up your proximity,
it is rich and only enhanced by
the knoledge of your choice,
your desire beyond reason to feel my proximity.

by vanessa toews

... and no im not a poet, so screw you if you dont like it.