explosions in the night

round three of the explosive stomach flu is over and i hurt everywhere... so much for thinking that my stomach was just mad about me drinking juice before bed... im really glad the frist thing i did when i got up feeling funny was instinctively grab a hair elastic otherwise this fiasco would have been way worse... im not going back to bed just yet becuase its seems that every hour on the hour i turn into old faithful only this round was more like how can i keep barfing if there is absolutely nothing left to give? i dont really know... but this sucks... and im cold and hot and i feel as thought i might be facing another round till the morning light comes to free me with some tea and a hotwater bottle on the couch... why why why?

its all lost in translation

its funny, i have felt increadibly happy these days. i guess thats just life, but um its been good, i have felt like that feeling... the one that is like: this is my life, i own something good here! i've got no money and no plans, but i've got people and they are awsome. i got together with my friend for coffee on friday night as she anticipated her sister forcing one more little life into the light. i hope it went alright, its funny my friends sister who was having the baby deliverd my brother and his wife's child almost this time last year... yes she is a doctor. its a beautiful thing the whole birth process isnt it? no, im not saying this becuase i want to have a baby, i dont want to have a baby, not now at least! whats with girls my age seeing a kid and being all like ohhhhh i want to have a baby!!! i dont really get it. thats just me though, dont think im a cold heartless bitch or anything, i just dont get all maternal at the sight of someone elses kid... anyways... like i was saying at the start, i guess im just happy because i have good people in my life, and i tend to take them forgranted but on friday and then again today i realized how amazing they all are. i listend to willy neslon records alot this weekend... i kinda like that guy, he's got spunk. he really does. i just watched lost in translation, gosh i love that movie. its such a good story, it feels so cosy doesnt it? this idea that somehow in the lost city scapes people find each other and they connect and they love and they change and give and take away some sort of light, some sort of hope or something... i always feel like im somehow warmer and less alone when i see people connet, but last time i watched that movie, night after newyears in the roxy theater in victoria, and i was alone, i wasnt "alone" alone, i was with my freinds, cam and chanty, but it felt alone, in my heart. in my being i felt this great void i felt like if the whole world ended i wouldnt know if anyone really loved me, but it wasnt becuase no one loved me, it was because i didnt belive them when they told me they did, and the people i wanted to love me, well they didnt know i existed. but tonight as i watched it again i felt like i had the same people who loved me... but this time i wanted them to be the people who loved me and i loved them, becuase they were them. and it made it seem for a few seconds like the whole world was going to be as warm and comforting as my bed after a bath, as the voice on the end of the phone when i say goodnight, as the smiles that creep on to my lips when i think about all the beautiful people i know. i felt safe, despite the insanity that's swathed our globe. i felt safe and happy. it was good... it was perfect. its funny... i bought a movie still from lost in translation, on friday at a poster sale at my school :) in the end everything blurs together to make themes...