such thing as a soul mate? hmmm i dont know...

Every one is getting married... what the hell... its so weird... i mean like... am i really that age? the age where all your friends get married and you dont? ha ha ha ha i mean i dont really want to its just weird... it feels like the people im friends with... admittently all older than i are getting hitched and its just weird... its like... the older i get the less will i have to get married... i mean it would be nice... but i just feel like there is more to life that "finding a soul mate and living in marital/sexual bliss for the rest of my life." i mean is that even a reality ? or do we just get tired of whats new getting old now... and move on and just let eveything fall apart and gain 30 pounds... i just dont know... it seems to good to be true... and sure sure every one shows up at weddings and they talk all love happieness joy and youth and then some one is like... yah but marrige is hard and then they look loveingly over at their partner and say but its worth it... hopping that they said the right thing and they might get some action when they get home... or am i just a cyinical jerk face... cuase thats highly likely too... i dont know i guess i've just learned that in life if you get your hopes up they get crushed and if you havent any hope of it being different... your never let down and when it is different your pleasently surpirised... does every one end up loosing the fire or are there old people out there who still like to galivant in the back row of movies...? no? yes? who knows... all i know is that im not going to just jump into something cuase im a little lonely on a friday night... (not saying i am) ha ha ha... i just think that if im in a relationship with some one... i want to be challenged intelectually, i want to share passions for things that are important i want someone who is passionate about thinks like art and life and living, you know... some one who is glad to be here every morning... cuase im not always that way... there arent that many passionate people anymore... its wierd... i get a bum wrap from people when i wax poetic about things im passionate about ... then again who else starts into prose about the dress she got at urban outfiters last week or feminist painters and post modern artists, people just call me an idealist for getting worked up and passionate about politics and the state of 3rd world counties... and then they tell me its even more juvanile to feel such things for sunrises and good coffee and art that speaks with a voice so adible its convicting to a blind perosn... i dont know... i guess i just hope its out there... people who want to live a life of constant overstimilation to passion and empathy and love... but in the same breath i dont think i will ever find that... i just dont want to settle for something i dont want... i dont want to be with some one i dont belong with and in that moment be taking away the chance for some one else to find that some one that makes them a truly passionate perosn... i want it to work ... you know?... i want more than just some one to eat breakfast with and watch peter mansbidge give a monotone take on what happened in canada and the world tonight... but im not sure that exists... so... heres the question: at a certian point do passionate people just realize that theres no point cause its just a movie dream world, or do they seek passion in the wrong way and take to cerial relationships to fulfill their sence of fresh pasion... or does it realy happen? do some poeple actually marry that one person that makes the world spin the right way each day...? cause i dont know... i just dont know...